Hugo's Blogspotting: 8 August

Oh The Irony

It’s always amusing to see a public figure shoot themselves in the foot and in poker it’s never more amusing than when it’s everybody’s favourite WSOP Champ/buffoon Phil Hellmuth.

I was reading his latest blog for this column and was thinking to myself, “Hmmm, Phil's blog is kind of boring this week, I'm not sure if there's much to say about it”, when I came across the final paragraph:

“I also sent out an email today to NBC pitching them on a commercial where I would play Greg Grunberg's "Matt Parkman" character from the hit television show "Heroes" a heads up poker match. Ding, ding; Parkman vs. the "Poker Brat!" Parkman can read people's minds, so that I couldn't win, but the "Poker Brat" meltdown afterwards would be pretty good television!! Can you imagine me moving all in with ten high on the river, and Parkman calling with jack high!”

I too like Phil am a fan of Heroes, but I don’t think Hellmuth got his inspiration for his ad idea from that show. Surely the premise of catching a bluff on the river with ten high came from UltimateBet’s sister site Absolute Poker?

Those of you with good memories (and clearly Phil does not have one of those) will know that I’m thinking about the fact that the original super-user, none other than POTRIPPER himself, got caught by making a call with ten high against a nine high which also happened to be the final and deciding hand in a tournament.

And it was this very call which led to the POTRIPPER being caught. And it wasn’t long before other internet whiz-kid poker players noticed there was a good possibility that UB had a super-user too.

I mean, everyone in the poker world has always suspected that Hellmuth has no concept of irony whatsoever, but surely this is the ultimate (geddit? D’you see what I did there?) proof that Phil has never even heard that word in his life let alone understand what it means.

At least Phil in the commercial would get to understand what some of the many players who were cheated by NioNio felt like. Yes Phil, those weren’t “impossible soul reads” like you would do in real life, just a cheating scumbag who could see his victims’ cards.

John Bonetti RIP

One of Phil Hellmuth’s best friends was John Bonetti who passed away recently. This poker legend is remembered fondly in TJ Cloutier’s latest blog. TJ makes the point that Bonetti was ahead of his time, playing super-aggressive tournament poker and reaping the rewards.

This is true, I recall a time that whenever you opened up a poker magazine and had a look at recent tourney results Bonetti’s name was always there amongst the finishers. His playing style is now standard for a lot of internet-schooled tournament players and he definitely paved the way.

TJ makes the point that it was a real shame that somebody like Bonetti was overlooked during the poker boom in favour of younger and more telegenic players. Bonetti had major health issues for the last ten years of his life so that could have been part of it, but it’s also a fact that he had a reputation for having a pretty abrasive personality. Mind you, that would make for good television.

“John is the only man that I ever saw get a penalty in a tournament when we weren't playing. While we were on a break, he got after the tournament director so bad using as many swear words as he could fit in, he got a 20-minute penalty during the break!”

That is what I call a good anecdote and a fitting tribute to a LAG pioneer. R.I.P John Bonetti.

Swings and Roundabouts

An interesting consequence of their being so many young internet phenoms over the last few years is that now we are starting to see a few of these whipper-snappers experience downswings. This is the true test of a poker player.

Did these new kids on the block just run super-good at the beginning and take advantage of their rush? Did they move up the limits too fast and in fact are having trouble adjusting to the better players at the higher levels? And are their egos so big as a consequence of winning so much in such a short space of time that they can’t admit to maybe not being good enough to take on Antonius and co. at the nosebleed stakes?

Some of the older players often make comments along the lines of, “These young boys ain’t paid their dues!” While I think it’s right for the new generation to tear down the walls and do things their own way I can’t help but think that some of the old boys have got a point. In the old days you just played and played and played and finally after several years you reached a Zen-like understanding of poker and gambling and how it can take its toll on a person mentally, spiritually and philosophically. Unless you’re Phil Hellmuth of course.

Anyway, what am I going on about? I’m talking about David Benefield aka Raptor’s 2nd August blog entry, that’s what. In a long and rambling post Benefield goes on and on about his recent $400k downswing (ouch) and whether he is going to go back to grinding 5-10.

“……there were 2 other tables that were good so decided to short stack/run up stacks on those tables. I proceeded to lose 97k straight, pretty much without a hiccup in the up direction. I think I got all in 13 times during that period, and won 2 of them, with average equity around 55%. It was truly a remarkable experience some of the hands I was getting in against.”

Considering this guy is a Cardrunners pro I’m surprised to see him reporting a losing streak as if it isn’t supposed to happen. I guess it isn’t supposed to happen to him. When I read that sort of thing I just think, “This guy hasn’t been playing very long”. I don’t care if he’s got one million hands under his belt because of the internet, it is only when you have been around poker and gambling for a bunch of years that you realise that this kind of shit happens. And worse.

“I am not really sure what the hell is going on, I am playing well, getting my money in good, and just cant seem to stop losing. The downswing has hit an all time high of 467k now in the last 5 days, and I have decided that that is enough. I came very close to cashing out what I had left online, (about 350) down to about 50k total, and just grinding out 5-10 and working my way back up. I still may do this, but I am not sure at the moment. I have never redeposited money online in my life. My initial 50 bucks has never come out of the poker economy”

What does he mean he’s not sure what is going on? It’s called variance and it’s normal. Is it possible he isn’t playing as well as he thinks? I suspect so. What really gets me is that he claims that his bankroll has all been built up from $50. So what the hell is he moaning about?!?! The guy is still winning fer Chrissakes.

A true grinder feels no shame in dropping down a level or two and winning that money back. That is what being a professional poker player is all about. 5-10 blinds may be a small game to Raptor, but to a lot of players that’s a big limit. He should remember that.

Another interesting consequence of so many young players being big winners so early on in their poker “careers” is that one often reads that poker is not something they intend to do for the rest of their life.

It used to be that you got into the game later on in life and looked to it as a good way to get out of whatever job you were doing. Now it seems like it’s the other way around with these young guns looking to get into the sorts of things a lot of older players are hoping to retire from just so they can spend their time playing cards.

“I don’t see myself playing 3 years from now, and hopefully I will be on to bigger and better things by then. I want to get into real estate, I want to do some travelling, I want to immerse myself in a new culture and learn a couple different languages, I want to go to argentina and learn how to salsa, I want to do all of these things while I am in my prime.”

Is this guy kidding? Has he not realized that poker is a life sentence? All of us are addicts – the poker jones is a hard one to shake off. In three years he’s going to be blogging that he is playing better than ever before, is hoping to do well in the 2011 WSOP and also realizes that the losing streak he had in 2008 made him a better player.

I Am Robot

One guy who will probably be around for a while is Andrew Robl aka good2cu. His latest blog focuses more on what Raptor should be thinking about.

“Many of the qualities that make you a good poker player, mainly the ability to limit, suppress, and eliminate your emotions; making your brain machine-like, make me feel less human. I am no longer that excited about big wins nor do get depressed over big losses. For poker I feel this is a very good quality but I find it carrying over to other aspects of my life.

I no longer get excited about trips, vacations, dates, birthdays, tournaments or parties. And inversely negative events don’t bring me down. Maybe I am just becoming some sort of zen-master, detached from the everyday emotions of living, but I don’t know if it that is a good or bad thing.”

Yes, it’s our own humanity that lets us down when we play poker. It’s interesting that many of the great games players – I guess I’m thinking about chess masters here – are, or were, borderline autistic. One only has to look at somebody like Bobby Fischer to see what I mean.

How long will it be until a real life “Rainman” comes along and beats poker for lots and lots of dollars? Without emotions coping with bad beats will be a breeze. Needle from other players will be non-existent as taunts and insults will be ineffective. Let’s face it, some of our existing champions have pretty weird personalities so it’s not that big of a jump is it?

Sticks And Stones May Break My Bones

Finally my mate Vicky Coren has written about a recent interview she did where she was asked about playing poker in London.

“I tried to describe the particular mix of wit, sarcasm, respect, scorn, matiness, pleasure, misery and resentment. Then I tried to explain how rudeness actually denotes fellowship; how we are reserved among strangers and newcomers, but relish insulting old friends across the table.”

Spot on Vicky. Is this the right moment to say that I have always thought you were a complete donk – how the hell did you fluke your way to that EPT win?

Hugo 'Chimney Sweep' Martin