Hugo's Blogspotting: 28 March

Are You A Degenerate?

Anna Wroblewski at Poker Road has written a razor sharp description of your typical poker player:

“Poker players are a different breed of people. Most are insomniacs. Many are lazzzzzzy asses…selfish, stubborn, dishonest people who are usually never happy.”

Hmmm, I resemble that comment. Ok, not the insomnia part except when in Vegas. As for the part about being happy – give us a break Anna, it’s hard to retain a cheerful disposition when all around you are a bunch of idiots who can’t play, yet somehow they still find a way to walk through the raindrops…

Ok, I’m joking obviously and I have to say she makes a fair point. It seems most poker players I know are only happy after a nice score in a cash game or tournament; it’s never too long before the moaning returns. But, like the cliché says, it’s a hard way to make an easy living.

Actually that reminds me of an anecdote I once read or heard somewhere about World Series champ Jack “Treetop” Strauss. It seems that an old friend of Strauss’ rang him up whilst he was playing poker at Binions Horseshoe. Now it just so happened that this friend was in prison on death row.

“Jack”, he said, “it don’t look good, they’re gonna kill me”. To which Strauss replied, “Yeah, that sounds bad buddy, but man! You should see what they’re doing to me here, last night I’ve got kings on the button, see…..”

Strauss was famous for being somewhat of a degenerate gambler and Wroblewski has a guideline to help you work out whether you are a sicko or not:

“You are a degenerate if you spend the first hour in the morning doing maybe nothing, perhaps shower or pee, then jump on the computer right away and play. Night and day you don’t really do anything else. And if you do think about doing anything else you talk about poker or money. You dream about playing and winning lots and lots of money. You are constantly depressed!”

Jeez, I resemble that comment too…

Who Wants to be a Millionaire?

Speaking of degenerates, we have now reached part 7 of the Archie Karas story by Tom Sexton at PokerNews. So far we’ve heard all about how he got the absolute lot playing poker and shooting dice, now we have reached the part of the story where the wheels come off. Sexton asks Archie the big question:

“How did you lose $40,000,000 and end up with nothing? What happened or what were your biggest mistakes you feel you made going back in time?"

“With these questions Archie stared at me for quite a while without saying a word. Then he said, "Tom, I've never really talked about this in detail all of these years. I blame myself for losing all that money back, not Jack Binion or Binion's Horseshoe."

Archie continued with his philosophy, that he said he learned from another high roller named Jack Perkins: 'If you are going to be a sucker, be a quiet one.'

Poor old Archie – he claims to be the greatest heads-up poker player ever, and from previous installments it seems he vanquished all the top pros until they didn’t want to play him any more (Don’t forget that Chip Reese is alleged to have said to Archie after one of their matches, “When God made your balls, he made them a little bigger”). No wonder he turned to shooting dice, it was the only action he could find. And we all know that in the long run them bones is a losing proposition.

“If I had known there was a poker boom right around the corner, I would have parked $10,000,000 to the side, even if I had to wait ten years to play. Poker has always been my bread and butter. I'll point out that between 1992 and 1995, who could have guessed there was going to be such a boom in poker by 2003? Back then, I couldn't wait three hours to get in action. Dice is the fastest action in the world, where I could win or lose a million with one roll of the dice.”

Another useful hint that Archie gives us in case we ever run up $50 into $40 million is not to keep the cash within easy reach at the casino.

“Keeping too much in my money boxes at the Horseshoe was a big mistake. The urge to gamble it off was way too strong. During my two-and-a-half-year gambling spree, there was a three-week period of time where I lost $30,000,000, which I could never fade!”

Finally, I think my favourite part of this week’s installment is when Archie is asked what he did with his case million. Case million! For most of us it’s usually our last hundred quid or something, but I guess when you’ve lost $39 million the last million bucks doesn’t seem like very much.

Anyway, and I’m not so sure about his game selection here, Archie took his case million and played Johnny Chan heads-up.

“"I wanted to try and double up, so I went to the Bicycle Club in LA with my last million in a big bag and played Johnny Chan heads up in poker, who was being backed by Lyle Berman. In fact they would switch off about every two hours against me, which was okay by me, as Johnny was a tougher player. I still remember dragging my last $1,000,000 with me to the table, opening the bag to show I wasn't broke, then placing my last million out of the $40,000,000 under the table by my feet, and start the game for my whole life!"

Wow, I wonder if Chan and Berman knew Archie was down to his case money? I shall leave the last quote to Tom Sexton.

“I shook my head in disbelief hearing this, as I said, "Archie, this totally boggles my mind. Of all places to gamble off your last million, you chose to play it all against a living legend, Johnny Chan! I don't know anyone else who would have the balls to do that.”

Yes, We Have No Bananas

Speaking of legends what’s happening at Doyle Brunson’s blog? Not too much although the living legend is back from Ireland and happy to report he had a good time. I seem to remember him writing a while back that he was fed up with traveling to poker tournaments…

“As everyone keeps reminding me, I am getting too damn old to be traveling everywhere to play poker. It’s true. I’m so old, I don’t even buy green bananas, but as long as I feel like playing I’m going to continue!”

Yeah, green bananas, I can see that, but as long as you don’t feel so old that you wouldn’t even buy in to a 6-max super turbo sng you’re ok I guess….

Hugo 'Chimney Sweep' Martin

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