Hugo's Blogspotting: 24 July

Poker Is Rough

I guess it’s not too surprising that with the WSOP over most blogs are silent. Players have retreated home, licking their wounds and scratching their heads. It’s amazing to read some players’ blogs before the WSOP – they honestly believe they are going to win a bracelet.

I guess that same self-belief is what makes them play well, but surely these pros are the ones who know that winning a tournament is like trying to catch lightning in a bottle. It doesn’t take long for self-confidence to crumble once things don’t go their way. From there it’s a short hop to TILT and then we get to burn-out and hatred of poker and the WSOP in general.

For a good flavour of post-WSOP comedown check out Anna Wroblewski’s blog this week. She had a bad WSOP and makes no bones about it.

“My world series experience was a disappointment. I feel for all of you who played 20 tournies and didn't cash or cash for shit and then finally getting KK or AA and get knock out!”

Like a lot of other players Anna made the sensible move of playing the big WPT tournament at the Bellagio straight after the WSOP. Nothing like a big buy-in tournament after a grueling six weeks of crushed and battered dreams. How many players entering that tourney at Bellagio were not complete wrecks? Probably about five. Anna encountered a WSOP casualty on her first table at the Bellagio.

“A guy at my table was so pissed..."Why the hell am I here" I don't want to be here..."What did u do? We all asked...I just blew off 1.6 mil in chips in the main event...why the hell am I here.?"

There’s a kind of perma-tilt that one enters into at the WSOP when the results don’t go your way. You end up walking around like a sort of headless chicken spewing money and you think you don’t care about losing anymore, but in fact you do.

Every day you wake up and think, “Right, I’ll put a line under all the shit that’s happened to me so far and today I’m gonna play good”. But as soon as the cards are dealt you realise that you’re still steaming. It’s a special kind of tilt that gets under your skin, gets in your bones in fact, like an evil virus and it doesn’t leave you until you get home.

Anna sums it up when she writes,

“I think that many people have misconceptions. A lot think that playing poker and having the posiblity of being on TV is glamourous and playing for a lot of money is cool. Some of us get lucky. It's ok to dream. All the poker greats have done this for years and years and it's hard for me to say what's best. I am in the process of learning. And I can pretty much guarantee the chances of sucess is minimal. Poker is rough.”

Putting up with the other players is another aspect of the game that Anna addresses. We have all met our fair share of idiots at the tables over the years (I’m including online too, although one has the luxury of clicking the ignore chat button), but Anna puts another spin on this which most men wouldn’t have to contend with.

“I feel like being a female I have to be respectful at the table---I should keep my mouth shut when the men are talking about strip clubs, prostitutes, orgasms, sex”

At the risk of sounding super-politically correct I have to say that sometimes it’s hard to believe we’re in the 21st century.

My Bag's Got A Hole In It

Mike Paulle at PokerPages tells an interesting story about a friend of his, one Herb Montalbano, who had a not so great experience in the main event at the WSOP. No, I’m not talking about some brutal runner-runner bad beat. Basically, the guy comes back for Day 3 at about 3 minutes to noon to find his bag full of his chips has been opened and some of the big denomination chips have been taken.

Paulle has published Montalbano’s email to him with the full story:

“My bag was open and my chips scattered in front of my seat. Immediately, I shuffle thru them and see a glorious absence of orange chips. The 5k ones. I know without question I had 6 or 7 orange chips when I ended Day 2 and 75k in total chips. I had 2 orange ones.”

Ok, so you get the Tournament Director over and they check the cameras and find the culprit and it all gets sorted out, right? After all, it’s the largest and most prestigious poker tournament on the planet; shenanigans like this almost never happen because the WSOP staff are on top of their game. Er ….no.

“When I made this discovery I calmly approached a floor guy after being encouraged to say something by players at my table which included Eric Seidel. Well to my dismay I was treated by two WSOP suits like a 3 year old and there was no way on earth they were or possibly could be at fault. We all know there is nothing but honest, trusting, and morally perfect people at these events and there is no chance of a plastic bag being slit open in some fashion whether intentionally or inadvertently. Anyway, at this point I wished I hadn't said a freaking thing as it was embarrassing and humiliating.”

Wow, that really sucks.

Montalbano compares his treatment to Hellmuth getting his penalty over-turned and as you can imagine Montalbano is none too impressed.

“Had this happened to Hellmuth I am sure they would have reviewed the tape from the previous night.…

But no I am just an average poker guy with no accolades to speak of. I was treated like shit and cheated out of a well-earned opportunity to get deep in the tournament….

Anyway, Hellmuth is God and I am just a regular piece of shit in the eyes of the WSOP.”

Damn straight Herb! Of course, this Montalbano could be completely out of his mind, but if his story is true then I am really shocked at how badly the floor staff at the WSOP treated him. Don’t the bags you put your chips in have totals on them? Perhaps he made a mistake taking his chips out and counting them when he saw that his bag had been tampered with.

Mike Paulle gives good advice when he writes:

“If you can’t get anyone to be a witness, you are left with making as loud a stink as you can to get the tournament management - in order to shut you up – to check all possible cameras. Sometimes they will give you the claimed loss back, just because it’s easier then anything else, even in the Main Event of the WSOP. Even if you are not a poker superstar.”

Except for this time they didn’t.

DY on Hellmuth

I mentioned eleven time bracelet winner and UltimateBet endorser Phil Hellmuth (just how much longer can he remain silent about that, eh?) above and I’m sure you have all read about his antics during the WSOP. Same old, same old.

Personally I find Hellmuth quite amusing, but for all those who can’t stand him, surely the best way to get to him is to ignore him. Stop posting on forums about why you think he’s a fool. Starve him of the oxygen of publicity.

Having said that David Young has written a good blog (Hellmuth Rants, 20th July) about the UB man with what he thinks is the best way to get back at the Wisconsin Whiner. DY (as all us Vic regulars call him) is a great strategist and has obviously thought long and hard about this.

“To pick on someone's known weaknesses achieves little if you're determined to damage their reputation. What hurts more is attacking their strengths. If you can prove that someone's chief strength isn't really that good, you've swept the rug from under their feet.!”

Good point. Rather similar to LAG players not liking it when you raise it right back up ‘em; give the bastards a dose of their own medicine.

“Hellmuth's chief claim to fame is that he is the 1989 World Champion. It surprises me then that none of his many detractors point out that along the way he benefited from precisely the same luck that he berates others for receiving.”

How true. And Hellmuth is not the only player guilty of this sort of behaviour. In fact, it’s odds on that the players who complain the most about being outdrawn are the ones who are quickest to forget when they are the ones who get lucky.

DY cites two examples of Hellmuth getting it in with the worst hand on his way to the title, with the second one being of particular interest. Hellmuth is up against Don Zewin and a short-stack:

“….this brings us to the second hand, where Zewin skillfully makes a sort of anti-squeeze play to get all his chips in holding tens against Phil's ace-ten and a pair of twos held by a short-stack. Phil gets lucky and catches an ace on the flop to eliminate two opponents and get heads-up with Chan.

Zewin's equity was over 50 per cent against both opponents ... and he could have survived a loss to the twos. Hellmuth got lucky here. Don't let him forget it. Next time he charges off about how unlucky he is in the WSOP, remind him how Zewin outplayed him.”

Wasn’t it Hellmuth who uttered the immortal line, “If it wasn’t for luck I’d win them all”?

Logos And Brands

Finally, Poker King has written something that I have thought of for a while. In a post where he lists the good and the bad from this year’s WSOP, this is one of the items that makes the latter.

“Sponsor Fatigue. Is it me, or is the sponsorship of players going a bit overboard? Some players were representing three or four different companies on their clothing. Poker rooms, personal websites, energy drinks, instructional sites, poker portals - you name it, and it was on somebody's hat, shirt or jacket. I don't blame players for taking sponsorship money - not at all. I just think that it would be more effective if it were toned down a bit.”

Too right. There’s something faintly ridiculous about these poker players with all these logos and patches all over them. What was once seen as a shady, and possibly cool, pursuit has turned into a slightly embarrassing spectacle. Most pros wearing their sponsors’ gear come across as desperate, grasping shills. I thought the whole point of being a poker pro was to not be beholden to anyone else. Once you’re endorsing some sort of corporate entity don’t you end up losing your independence, which was the whole reason you became a poker player in the first place?

Having said that, the faux respectability that these advertising patches bring to the game doesn’t necessarily mean legitimacy either.

Hellmuth as usual is a perfect example of this kind of buffoonery in his ludicrous PH/UB jersey. It’s like a cross between Fu Manchu’s kimono and Mae West’s underwear. I guess the point is that you can’t help looking at him which is all Hellmuth wants. I wonder if Phil goes to the shop for a pint of milk dressed in his jersey? That I would love to see. I can imagine a Stella Street/Bo’Selecta!-type sketch based around Hellmuth doing the ordinary things that the rest of us mere mortals have to do. God, it’s almost a shame he’s not properly famous…

Hugo 'Chimney Sweep' Martin