Hugo's Blogspotting: 24 April

Frustrated in Monte Carlo

A week is a long time in poker and now that the $25k WPT Grand Final is well and truly underway (17 players left as I write) it already seems like a lifetime ago that the EPT Grand Final happened in Monte Carlo.

A week, however, is about how long it takes for all the various bloggers to get their shit together so now is about the time that more stories start seeping out of the woodwork.

One such blogger is none other than Barry Greenstein who has an audio blog at PokerRoad.com. I guess the great man can’t be bothered to type or has trouble finding a secretary to dictate his words of wisdom to. Anyway it appears he had a frustrating time of it in Monaco, although he’s not actually referring to the tournament itself.

No, it turns out that Barry allowed himself to be talked into sharing his room with Anna Wroblewski which naturally led to much sexual tension. Why a grown man in his fifties with a predilection for Asian hotties decided to share a room with a twenty-something Vietnamese babe when he knew that the sleeping arrangements would have to be platonic is beyond me. Perhaps Barry needs a new nickname – Barry “Blueballs” Greenstein anyone?

“Anna and I are close friends so I can’t say no to her. I said, “ok”, but I kind of knew it might not be the greatest idea… …By the second night I said, “I hope you understand that this arrangement is a little strange – I’ve got years of conditioning from sleeping with my girlfriends and assuming that something will happen when we go to bed at night… …I had to introduce rule number 1 – no goodnight hugs in bed because it gives me the wrong ideas. It’s like a Pavlovian response for me…”

That does sound like quite a distraction and not necessarily the best way to prepare for a big poker tournament. At another point in his audio blog Barry talks about falling asleep at the table; I guess he really did find it hard to get some shut-eye, no wonder he came nowhere in the competition.

Beagle Eye View of Monte Carlo

For a different view on Monte Carlo go no further than Snoopy’s blog. This is like a behind-the-scenes look at the EPT Grand Final if you like, Snoopy being part of a tournament update coverage team for Blonde Poker.

Snoopy had to share his room with two women (although one of them was his girlfriend so no pent up sexual frustration stories here) and while all the top pros love regaling us peasants with tales of flying first class and staying in the presidential suites at hotels and so on, here we have the sort of low-roller stuff that most of us can relate to. In the words of Snoopy:

“…covering the Grand Final is a challenge: long days, no sleep and prices that make Harrods look like Oxfam.”

Did Snoopy hear any good rumours or gossip? He mentions Mark Teltscher arriving in his bright red Ferrari.

“Teltscher sure does like to show off them wheels, but I hear he doesn’t have a bad bone in his body, just not a great people person. I also learned that he wasn’t TheV0id, apparently he set up the account for someone else (who shall remain unnamed) under his sister’s name. All hearsay of course, but it suggests he wasn’t personally playing two accounts.”

Hmmm, interesting. C’mon Snoopy, we need to know which pro ghosted Teltscher’s “sister’s account”. The only two poker players that I can think of that live in Monte Carlo are Gus Hansen and Patrik Antonius – surely not? I very much doubt that either of those two players would do something to compromise their reputations, but you never know…

As you may have read somewhere, former Wimbledon Champ Boris Bcker took part in the tournament in Monte Carlo and it sounds like his bodyguards were somewhat over-zealous in keeping various railbirds/tournament reporters at bay. But this is poker Boris – you ain’t on Centre Court anymore. As Snoopy says in a deft turn of phrase:

“Yes, Boris is a superstar in the tennis world, but he’s not holding a racket anymore, he’s on our court now where amateurs can play against the pros and sit next to the Tobey Maguires and the Shannon Elizabeths of this world. After a couple of events, I doubt anyone will give a toss who he is.”

Tobey Maguire is famously a bit snooty and uptight about having his photo taken at the WSOP, but at least he hasn’t got a couple of goons shadowing his every move…

Snoopy also relates his take on the Joe Hachem/Woody Deck bust-up. Although he didn’t witness it either at least Snoopy was at the tournament, so his account is probably more accurate than others.

Warning! Bad Beat Story

Anyway, enough about Monte Carlo! Onto the Bellagio and the $25k WPT Grand Final. Cue more bad beats. Funnily enough Karl Mahrenholz at the Hitsquad gives us an exit hand hard luck story. But to be fair it’s vaguely entertaining and I guess the point of the story is the fact that he underwent the delayed reaction to the slowroll. This is not an uncommon experience although it does not crop up that often.

To cut a long story short he flops a set of 8s on a 9 8 5 board and his opponent holds 67 for the straight.

“My opponent set me in for the little extra I had and I called. The guy was reluctant to turn his cards over and kept pointing to my hand, asking me to turn it over. Slightly strange when I've called his raise but I did turn my hand over. He then deemed it ok to turn over his hand, 67hh for the flopped nuts. The turn and river blanked off and I was out of the room before it really dawned on me how nice it was of him to slow roll me. So much so that I actually went back into the room to ask him why he didn't want to turn his hand over. He said it was because he thought it was me to show 1st. Hmmm. "but you had the nuts didn't you?" "yes" he said. At which point I shook his hand and left him to it.”

At least you didn’t go all the way back up to your room Karl before the slowroll dawned on you. In a gaff like the bellagio it’s at least a 15 minute walk back to the tournament from your room.

Antonius Gives It the Needle

How’s the Doyle Brunson vs Patrik Antonius death match coming along then? Following last week’s challenge from Doyle to Patrik to meet up on the golf course as well as the poker table Antonius has written what I feel is a rather uncharacteristic blog.

“First of all, when the hell did Doyle Brunson start writing a blog, is it even legal for a man that old to blog? Pretty amazing for a guy that was around before TV's and telephones. And second, what is the gambling world coming to when a 108 year old man can challenge a young man in the prime of his life to a $100,000 a hole golf match.”

Wow, that’s fighting talk. In fact, I would call that the needle. What about this bit?

“…hopefully I can make a big dent in Todd's inheritance. Seeing Todd cringe when I win millions is going to be worth just as much as the money.”

I assume Patrik and Doyle are friendly with each other, but maybe not, that last quote seems vicious to me. Having read all his other blogs and from what I have seen of him on TV, Patrik Antonius does not come across as a Tony G/Sam Grizzle/ Mike Matusow type. Maybe it’s just the Finnish sense of humour getting lost in translation?

Brunson Gives It the Hustle

Doyle certainly makes no mention of these jibes on his blog although I sense the hustle on the golf course has already begun.

“I went to the golf course was really disappointed. My leg is getting worse and worse and desperately needs an operation but I don’t have the time to do it. So please don’t call me a welcher, Patrik, but I have to amend my golf challenge. The tees have to be ‘where Doyle sez’ just like our poker match. I’ll have to start up 100 yards or less each hole because I just can’t turn on the ball.”

Oooh, is that what Johnny Moss and Titanic Thompson used to say as they got into the twilight of their years?

Doyle also writes about commentating on a special edition of Poker After Dark which features all “Math” players (including David Sklansky, Bill Chen and Brandon Adams in the line-up). When asked who he would prefer to play in a cash game Doyle gives an answer that is worthy of Talleyrand:

“You have to have a screw loose to play for ultra high stakes and these guys are too logical to risk everything they have on the turn of a card.”

That is what I call a great answer.

Hellmuth Vs Laliberte

Speaking of Poker After Dark it seems they have also filmed a special cash game episode with a $100k buy-in, which should serve as a decent stop gap for all of us waiting for the return of High Stakes Poker.

Two of the players in the line-up are Phil Hellmuth and Guy Laliberte and Hellmuth writes about a hand between the two of them in his latest blog.

Hellmuth has raised with Jc Tc and bet out on a J88 board which Laliberte has called. The turn is a 3 and Hellmuth bets again and again Laliberte calls.

“The last card was the 5d, I checked and Laliberte fired out $16,500. I studied for a moment and had this thought, "If you fold your hand, then you should quit right now." I kept running the hand over-and-over in my mind… …I have played with Laliberte before, and I haven't seen him bluff too much. However, I did incentivize him to try to bluff me by announcing a few hours earlier that I would donate $500 to "One drop" if he did indeed successfully bluff me. Was he trying to win $500 for his charity, and simultaneously prove that he could bluff me? I believed that the only hand that I could beat was 10-9... …Finally, I folded, and Laliberte showed me 10-9: a bluff, ouch! ”

Whatever happened to looking into your opponents’ souls Phil? At least I know I’m not alone in dogging it on the river…

Hugo 'Chimney Sweep' Martin

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