Hugo's Blogspotting: 10 April

Sick

Lucky Jim’s blog never fails to entertain although his latest update makes for rather depressing reading. Jim has decided to go back to AA as he has been drinking too much.

“…I cycled to the Gutshot where I had four double G&Ts, then met a friend for dinner at Fabrizio's where I had a bottle and a half of red. I actually managed to throw up whilst cycling home without having to stop. The next day I wondered why my room smelt.”

Nice, those very words seem to come alive off the page. Jim seems to have no problem chronicling his pitiful life for us and I’m sure a few of his readers have thought to themselves, “There but for the grace of God go I”. Or maybe not.

Still, I can’t help but like someone who wears their heart on their sleeve so I hope he manages to get his shit together, but preferably not at the expense of his blog. So is Jim more of an alcoholic or more of a degenerate gambler? Probably the former, but one thing for sure is that he shouldn’t combine the two pursuits together.

“I had a bottle of wine Wednesday afternoon just because I was feeling sad. When I woke up I went to the Gutshot and drank gin and tonic after busting out of the Omaha game. It was the first time I'd played live in a year and I sat down with £200. There were two very aggressive players so it was hard to see a flop. I lost a £25 chip and accused the players next to me of taking it and got the floor to check the cameras. Later I found it in my pocket.”

I wonder how long the argument about the missing chip slowed down the game for?

I also wonder if Jim’s articulacy in his blog means that in real life he can barely string a couple of sentences together when forced into a social situation such as a live PLO game at the Gutshot. When playing poker with the locals does he come out with the following in between hands?

“I think I have borderline personality disorder. So much of it seems to fit: no sense of self, an absolute terror of being on my own, high levels of impulsivity and bingeing behaviour. It would also explain my dysfunctional friendships and how often I fall out with people. I put my friends on pedestals but expect them to be absolutely on my side, and react angrily when they say no to me.”

I guess that would make a change from the usual bad beat stories or telling the other players what he would have made if he had stayed in the hand…

Stand and Deliver

An upside to Lucky Jim doing his bollocks at poker is that at least there aren’t any bandits waiting for him outside in order to relieve him of his readies. Highway robbery and stickups are what Doyle Brunson had to put up with for many years and his latest blog offers some useful advice as well as some unpleasant memories.

“I have been robbed at gunpoint five times in my life, including a home invasion at the Las Vegas Country Club. I’ve had pistols, even a shotgun, pointed up against my head and it is not a pleasant thing. I’m not saying I wasn’t scared but it wasn’t as bad as one night in Houston, Texas when a guy came up behind me and put a knife to my throat. I thought my legs would collapse and it was the scariest thing that ever happened. Something about getting your throat cut seems worse than taking a bullet.”

“I’ll give you some good advice…if it happens to you, give them your money. You can win some more money but you only have one life.”

That’s a very good point – when you’re a gambler money is just a tool of the trade, its easy come, easy go. Having said that I can think of a few poker players who you would have to use a crowbar to prise out even a dollar from their cold, clammy dead hands before they would think about handing it over.

Double-Double Barrel

Gus Hansen addresses the topic of multi-tabling in his blog. Playing against internet legend OMGClayAiken (Phil Galfond) on two tables they find themselves heads-up on both tables simultaneously.

“As we saw the turn card there was $2,400 in both pots. I picked up a low-end straight draw on one table (short for NOTHING) and still had Ace high at the other. I decided to give it a go and make a pot sized bet on both tables simultaneously. Click, click — within half a second.

I got one fold, breaking even with my move. But OMG called on the other table leaving me with Ace high before the river. A kinda straigthy card appeared and I reached for my three-barreled shot gun – $7,200 boom, and Phil folded! Mission accomplished.!”

Ok, so Gus Hansen pulled off a double bluff, big deal. It’s the kind of thing he does in his sleep. The point is that:

“What you have to keep in mind sometimes is that your opponents don't really have that much time available. If they are playing multiple tables you might be able to pressure them a little by betting on several tables at the same time.”

This insight is not exactly ground-breaking news, but it’s definitely a move worth remembering and it’s interesting that Phil Galfond, who presumably has more internet poker experience than the Great Dane, was the victim of the bluff rather than the other way around.

Live From Las Vegas

Rumours have been flying around that ESPN and Harrahs are going to delay the final table of the WSOP Main Event by 90 days in order to broadcast it live on TV. I’m not sure about my own opinion on that at the moment, but BJ Nemeth thinks it would be a good thing and has taken over the April 8th entry in the Tao of Poker to explain why.

More viewers and thus higher ratings, which will in turn see a poker snowball gathering up speed to make poker like the ultimate sport or something seems to be his less-than-compelling argument. Nemeth also claims that,

“… poker fans will have learned enough about the unknown players to develop a rooting interest, either for or against them.”

So the viewers at home will get to know the players better, big deal. Is that really the best he could come up with? ESPN spend a lot of their WSOP coverage on human interest stories already so I don’t see how a live broadcast of the final table would make that any different.

At least the viewers at home might see the reality of a final table with its many raise-and-take-it-before-the-flop hands. In fact, I suspect the casual viewer would get bored and switch over.

The best part of the article is when Nemeth addresses the possibility that some of the finalists might not make it back to the final table.

“For the record, a death or an arrest would almost certainly be treated the same way it is now. Any player unable to return to action is simply blinded off, and any prize money earned is held until the player (or their estate) shows up to claim it. Remember Vinnie Vinh? He disappeared twice in last year's WSOP after finishing Day 1 of a prelim with a big stack — big enough to survive blinding off, and the stack finished in the money without him. The reason a player fails to return (drug use, arrest, or death) is irrelevant.”

I’m looking forward to hearing Norman Chad explain to us the reason seat 4 is empty – the player was so excited to make the final table he went out celebrating with extensive cocaine use which resulted in a heart attack, although it is also possible it was the third hooker that caused the myocardial infarction…

Hugo 'Chimney Sweep' Martin

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