Hugo's Blogspotting: 15 June

Problems at WSOP

Unsurprisingly most poker blogs at the moment have a World Series of Poker theme and also even more unsurprisingly most of these blogs are complaining about Harrah’s and their corporate fisting of the A.G.M of hustlers and degenerates.

Joe Pelton had the good fortune of making day two of a tournament thus making it impossible (alright it’s not impossible to multi-table at the WSOP, but on the whole most players don’t do it) for him to play in an event he had already registered for the next day. Naturally he unregistered and got on with playing the tournament he was still in. Fast forward a couple of days and now Joe is trying to find his seat for another tournament, but is told he unregistered for this event. Cue lots of different floor people with different opinions and eventually they let him sit down and play. After a while Jack Eiffel, one of the top guys at the WSOP, comes over and tells him he is unregistered for that particular event. Pelton writes,

“a bit later he comes back and pulls me out again…he pulls me waaay over the side. now he is VERY angry and loudly tells me that i'm going to confess right now (to what i'm not quite sure) or else he will have this security guy right here (he brought one with him) escort me out and i'll be banned for life”

Eventually it’s all sorted out and everything is fine, but I’m sure Pelton is not the first player to think that,

“Its just so typical of this group (Harrah’s), they always accuse first and consider the ever so remote chance that they fucked up last”.

Ladies Night

Change100 writes a blog at PokerWorks and her rant is about the WSOP Ladies event. Many female players have for quite a while felt that a separate Ladies event is rather patronizing. Harrah’s decided that the winner of the Ladies’ event would win something extra besides the 1st place prized money and the WSOP bracelet; from the Harrah’s press release:

"The Ladies Champion also will receive a VIP weekend at a Harrah’s-operated casino to attend “The New You” exclusive makeover and lifestyle event, created by “The Swan” creator Galan to teach participants about health, wellness and beauty from leading professionals in the field…The WSOP Ladies Champion also will fit in at “The New You,” a women’s brand that includes a television show in development with NBC."

Change100’s reaction? Well, to say she’s a bit ticked off might be an understatement. She writes,

“I absolutely boil when I read those words. The Ladies’ Event Champion is being whored out to NBC for a reality show. Health, wellness, and beauty? A fucking makeover? How about we send Greg Raymer instead and finally have him shake the socks and sandals look? How about we get Dutch Boyd to shower and take that filthy bandana off his head? How about we give two-time bracelet winner Barry Greenstein a weekend package so he can learn to conceal those under-eye circles with the right product? Or give Tomer Benvenisti some tips on nutrition?”

It’s a fair point, but maybe the only way we as players can change these things is by voting with our feet and just not show up – that’s the only time corporations like Harrah’s ever notice anything is amiss, when their bottom line is affected. Of course, the reality is us poker players want to play at the WSOP so we still show up no matter what bullshit they pull. Change100 played the Ladies’ event and I know when I go over to the Rio I’ll end up moaning and bitching. But still playing – waddyagonnado?

Vegas Babble

Funnily enough Change100’s boyfriend is the venerable Pauly, he who writes the great Tao of Poker and today’s entry (WSOP Day 14: Lost Paradise) is a fantastic stream-of-consciousness babble inspired by looking at all the planes coming into land at McCarran airport in Las Vegas.

“Each plane bubbled over with exuberance as thoughts of wads of dollars danced around the heads of the newest batch of cherry gamblers that carried with them legendary dreams of big scores under the flashing lights during four day alcho-narco binges that would make John Belushi's worst bender look like a circle of girl scouts roasting marshmallows over a warm fire” he writes.

Pauly is especially obsessed with the hookers of Las Vegas and pretty much every post in his blog references working girls. This quote is a good one as it gets a good dig into internet poker geeks too:

“Those disease-infested tramps drenched in poorly cloned perfume to hide the smell of cock on their breaths, hope to lure in the sexually depraved internet pros who have not seen daylight let alone the inside of a vagina since 2004”

This post also sees one of the longest sentences I have ever read – I would love to quote it, but it’s a large block of text. Suffice to say it’s all good stuff and also shows how two weeks of working at the WSOP in Vegas can just frazzle your mind. Only another month to go Pauly!

Strippers!

Speaking of sex workers here’s an old entry from a blog called sngicons.com written by Bones. He tells a great tale of a cash game he played in with a couple of strippers who he classifies as hot stripper (HS) and stripper/grinder (SG). An old asian guy is at the table too and the HS has caught his eye; his attempts to chat her up consist of telling her about internet poker. Bones, our story teller is of course a cocky young internet pro and pours scorn on the old fella’s attempts:

“I make eye contact with HS and say to asian guy "Oh, you play 3 tables at once? That's cute. I bet that gets confusing when you have 2 decisions to make at once."

He doesn't seem to appreciate my comments and pretty much ignores me. He turns to HS and says "Yeah, you should try it out. I could teach you how to play online."

So obv I turn to him and say "Haha, nice one, buddy. I like that. If I thought I could use internet poker to hit on chicks, I'd have been doing that a long time ago"

He gives a nervous laugh and starts to rack up... Before he leaves though, he cuts out his profits (like $64) and gives it to HS, saying "Here, go buy yourself something nice." Seriously. She's stunned, I'm stunned, and someone at the table quietly says "what the *censored*...". Of course, HS insta-ratholes it.”

Our hero continues chatting to the strippers and they discuss which pro players they’d like to have sex with deciding that David Williams is their pick, much to Bones’ disgust. Here’s how the story ends in bones’ own inimitable words:

“The night ends with old asian guy coming back to the table and offering to stake them over at the Wynn. I don't think I've ever seen anyone grab a rack so quickly. They take off and of course the game instabreaks.

Epilogue- Stripper/grinder later texts me and says that after being there for a few minutes, a known poker pro shows up and starts talking to them. Asian guy gets jealous and takes back their stake and bounces.

Who was the poker player? David Williams of course.”

31 May 2007

OTHER BLOGS BY HUGO 'CHIMNEY SWEEP' MARTIN

To view the best poker blogs around check out our Blog Directory here

POKER VERDICT BLOG INDEX

Blogs by David 'TheKid08' Gross

Blogs By Warren 'Golden Fish' Wooldridge

Blogs By James 'Slicker66' Hipwell

Blogs By Hugo 'Chimney Sweep' Martin

Blogs By Phil 'Jackal69' Shaw

Blogs By Jeff 'Lord Neil' Israel

Blogs By Neil 'Bad Beat' Channing

Blogs By The Hendon Mob